Cynic with a Vampire

By

Patrick Moore

Peapotmaster@yahoo.com







“Is the world ready when a man dates an animated cartoon princess. My girlfriend is a cartoon on the next Sick, Sad World,” said the SSW announcer on the television, as Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane sat on Daria’s bed watching TV.

“I wish they bring back Celebrity Deathmatch,” said Jane. “I miss that Debbie woman, before she worked for E!”

“I think MTV is losing it’s touch sine they aired the CGI Spider-Man series,” replied Daria.

“We interrupt SSW for a special report,” said a female reporter on the TV. “Lawndale is the latest target for a rash of mysterious puncture wounds on the necks of two people. With me is a young witness who may know what’s going on here.” The reporter walks towards a teenage Goth girl who looked familiar.

“Andrea,” Daria and Jane said in unison.

“Tell me, Miss Hecuba, what are your thoughts on this?” asked the reporter.

“It was vampires, you moron,” said Andrea. “Any idiot would have notice that vampires leave two holes on the necks of their victims after they drink your blood.”

“There are no such things as vampires, young lady,” said the reporter.

“Then explain the bite marks on their necks, dummy,” continued Andrea to the airhead reporter. “Is it because I’m Goth, isn’t it? And I thought the Fashion Club were a bunch of bimbos.”

“Miss Hecuba, vampires only exist in movies and books like Dracula and the Twilight book series,” said the reporter.

“Vampires do exist, you idiot,” Andrea continued, as she gabbed the microphone from the reporter’s hand. “I know vampires are real, and…”

“CUT!” the female reporter shouted, as the screen turned to snow.

“We know Andrea is a Goth and all, but this is too much for her,” said Jane to Daria.

“I don’t think she’s crazy, and she might be telling the truth about this whole vampire thing,” said Daria.

Just then, Daria’s sister, Quinn, enters Daria’s room. “Daria, Mom wants you to get ready for dinner.”

“What are we having?” Daria asked her sister.

“Lasagna,” replied Quinn.

“Figures,” Daria said, as Quinn left the room.

“I better get going, Trent said that we got new neighbors moving in next door to us,” said Jane. “I promised Mom I get some pizzas for us and them.”

“Why don’t you give them Dad’s lasagna?” Daria smirked, as Jane leaves with a smirk on her face as well.



# # #



A half hour later, Jane headed home to Casa Lane to see her mom, Amanda, and her father, Vince, talking to the new neighbors. Jane spotted Trent sleeping on the couch, as Jane softly kicked him on the side.

“Trent, wake up,” said Jane. “We got new neighbors, and you want to sleep everywhere. “What would Daria think of you doing what you’re doing?”

“Sorry, Janey,” replied Trent. “Been practicing a new song with the band last night at the Zen.”

“You sleep too much, bro,” said Jane.

“I like him when he sleeps,” Jane turned to see a teenage girl with long raven, black hair coming out of the kitchen.

“Who are you?” Jane asked the girl.

“My name is Veronique Benoit, your new neighbor from next door,” said the girl, as she smirked at Jane. “Your brother said I can get me something to eat in the kitchen. I hope you didn’t mind?”

“My brother is like a narcoleptic sometimes,” smirked Jane. “Tell me, Veronique, how do you like it here in Lawndale?”

“This town is not like my country,” replied Veronique. “My mother told me that I’ll be in your school tomorrow morning.”

“Wait until you meet my friend Daria Morgerdorffer, you look almost like her,” said Jane.

“I think I’ll like it here in this Lawndale,” smirked Veronique. “I just love the taste of the people here.”



# # #

To Be Continued ….